As far as I recall, I have always kept most of my feelings and thoughts to myself. No matter what. As a result of that, I am more like a lone wolf type and I therefore had very very few friends.
There was one I did open up to a little bit. That “little bit” of me opening up to him was enough to consider our relationship as a friendship. And it seemed to be reciprocated.
We spent one year attending the same boarding school. The following year, I had to move from the city we were. And that changed our friendship.
After I moved, all of my attempts to keep in touch were unsuccessful: no response to my texts or phone calls for years. Basically, I had been ghosted. It affected me because this was one of my very rare friendships, so I valued it.
For years:
- I wondered what I had done wrong.
- I thought I had failed.
- I keep everyone emotionally distant as I was guarding my heart.
- I had so many unanswered questions related to that one “failure” of mine…
Why?
Because as human beings, we often think that there is a direct correlation between our actions and that of our loved ones. We tend to believe that their actions depends on our prior actions to them.
As a business beginner, it is natural for one to think the same way too.
Well, it is not necessarily true. The successes of your loved ones are not necessarily yours. Neither are their setbacks.
This principle applies for a business owner and their customer. Their successes and/or their set backs are not necessarily yours.
You are responsible for selling your product (or service) and training your customer on how to use it properly. The result of their usage (whether it is successful or not) is not under your responsibility – unless you specify it in the sales conditions.
You cannot be around your customers 24/7 to make sure they properly use the product.
I treated and considered my friend the same way I treated my other few friends. The consideration of this particular one wasn’t reciprocated.
It was not my fault, and there is nothing I could have done about it. I couldn’t be around my friend 24/7 to make sure we had the same understanding of what friendship is.
Had I understood this at the very beginning, I would’ve spent less time beating myself up for a wrong doing I thought I had done, and more time focusing on the other friendships I had created.
Do not let any success or failure cloud your objectivity. This is valid in business and within your personal circle. Success can happen among your customers.
You might have contributed, but it would be of their own doing. Not yours. Failure can happen too. It doesn’t necessarily mean it is your fault. You could have done your very possible to prevent it, but it wasn’t successful. Sometimes, it just happens. Period.
My friend and I reconnected years ago !
How do you react to the successes and failures of your customers? I’d love to read your opinions through the comments sections.
This article is about how my friend has ghosted me. Feel free to comment and share.