A (not so) sweet Valentine’s date
Imagine you are on a sweet Valentine date, with your better half… enjoying a delicious meal at a place of your own choosing. That place could be a restaurant, or your house. He bought you beautiful flowers. With a nice traiteur service.
After so much time planning for that moment to be perfect, there you are. Ready to spend a great moment. In company of the man you love. You’d give anything for that perfect moment to be endless. You can’t wait to hand him your gift. And spend a priceless time together.
And suddenly, there she is. Yelling. Screaming like crazy. Calling you names. Belittling you. Insulting you. Wading into you. Making the both of you feel embarrassed. Putting you both in an uncomfortable position. On a sweet Valentine date.
You miraculously manage to narrowly escape from the physical attack. But you are in shock. Angry. Shaking. Wondering how your scheduled perfect date turned into such nightmare. How did she know about your plans? How dare she ruin your evening?
You feel like screaming “What the heck?!”
The culprit? Your better half’s ex-partner. The very one he was with, prior to being with you. One he raised a child with. One he spent over a decade with. And though their relationship was finished long before you two met, she keeps barging into your lives.
Why? Because he was courageous enough to move forward – although she has someone in her life too. Because he had the nerve of NOT hiding how much happy he is with you. And she sees you are valuable to him.
What happens next?
After experiencing such behavior, your self-confidence might be shattered. You might question yourself and probably wonder if you deserve to be with him. And yell at him. It is likely that doubt him. You start questioning everything. You’d probably wonder if you’d wronged her in any way.
Deep down you know the answers to your questions. Of course you know her behavior should not affect nor diminish your self-confidence. You know you are worthy, and you deserve to be loved, for you were created out of love. You know you are valuable.
The same way you know your products and services are valuable to your clients. The same way you know your potential customers’ reactions should not diminish the worth nor the quality of your products and services. Even if their behavior shakes you, and make you feel uncomfortable.
Know this…
You are not responsible for your potential customer’s frustration. The same way my friend wasn’t responsible for the insecurities of her partner’s ex. If such potential customer can’t see the value of your product and/or service you are offering, it is OK.
Critics are to come from people who value you. Embrace critics when they come come from people who see your potential and who aim to see you improve. Critics should come from a place of love. Allow such critics to drive your improvement.
The same goes for your business. Allow critics from those who intend to see you thrive. Whether they come from customers, your partners, your employees, or even random people. If the intent is to bring you down, don’t let such critics shatter everything you work so hard for.
If anything BUT love motivates a critic, then the criticizer isn’t in a good place to criticize in the first place. It doesn’t mean their critics is false. The same way you are not responsible of the emotions of your potential customers, don’t allow them to be responsible of yours.
By the way, here’s how to always have a sweet Valentine date 😉
My friend’s partner is happy WITH her. Not BECAUSE of her. My friend is happy WITH her partner. Not BECAUSE of him. Your customer should be happy WITH you and your service/product. Not BECAUSE of it.
Because they are happy with each other, they stay together. Because they want the best for each other, they allow critics from each other. If your customer is happy with you, they will stay with you. As long as your service and/or product always remains as like a sweet Valentine date to them.
At times, they might even help you improve: either by criticizing you out of love, or by even telling you what they need. Because they want to stay with you. Because they value you, your product, and your service. Period.
After all, God is the source of all things (including happiness). Not you. Certainly your customers. Definitely not your partner. Let alone his/her ex-partner. God only is. Don’t let anyone else be the source of your emotions, lest you become frustrated.
What about you? What’s your recipe to make your products and services like a sweet Valentine’s date for your customers? I’d love to read your thoughts in the comment section.
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